mental health

Home Schooling and Working from Home: Tips to Keep Sane and Mobile

April 21, 2020 by ClaireFitzpatrick

Question: My friends who have been furloughed keep talking about feeling guilty about not doing enough to improve themselves now that they’ve been given all this time. But I would give anything for that time. I can’t do anything for myself. As it turns out, my days are more regimented than ever. My partner is an essential worker. We have a 6 and a 9-year-old. I get up early, my partner runs out the door, I get breakfast ready and pre-pack dinner for the kids, I have my Zoom work meeting, I spend two hours home-schooling, I work through late morning to early afternoon and the kids serve themselves dinner, I spend another hour home-schooling, then I try to combine their fun time with chores and queuing for groceries with masks and gloves once a week (try to do that with 6 and 9 year olds! The looks I get when I have my kids with me!). Another hour working, have my late-day Zoom check-in with the team at work, then I get tea ready, my partner comes home and we try to share at least that time together, then she’s off to spend time with the kids while I try to finish what I should have done at work during the day whilst they drop in front of the tele. I feel like I can’t be productive because of the constant interruptions on every level; I’m not there enough for my kids and my partner, and I certainly am not there for me. I feel guilty about all those things. I don’t want to bother my partner, because she’s so tired from working out of the house all day while trying to practice social distancing and not bring this virus home, which is of course another worry. I feel like a failure at everything I’m supposed to do, let alone trying to care for myself.

Effin’ Heroes

Let me just start by saying, you’re not a failure. You’re and your partner are effin’ heroes. Look at all you’re doing to make sure you honour your commitments and to doing what you can to provide for your family and keep them safe during this insane time.

You’re not the only one going through this shake up of life, even if it seems that way from what you say about your friends. Families all over the world are trying to restructure their roles and activities. From my perspective, this just highlights the unrealistic expectations that our busy lifestyles already had on us and our families before this crisis and the importance of rethinking the way we structure our lives now and after we’re let back out into the world. No one can be a Master-Of-All. We need one another to do what we’re best at, so we can cooperate together.

Sources of Online Home-schooling Help

I’m really glad that the Oak National Academy rolled out today in the U.K., and that there are online programs in the U.S. and the Netherlands. These programs show how, globally, we’re recognizing that our communities can and must work together for one another.

Give Yourself (And Your Family) Space

First thing for you: give yourself a break. It is easy to unconsciously default to the same expectations you had of yourself before all this happened. But expecting perfect, timely, and complete results was not healthy then, and is certainly not healthy now.

It sounds like you’ve constructed a particularly rigorous schedule of events. If you feel like you and your family is finding it difficult to keep to this regimen, maybe a little looseness is what’s needed.

Let the hours/minutes fray a little bit at the edges. If you or your kids are feeling burnout creep into this schedule, pre-schedule online chats with their classmates and friends and schedule yourself time to reconnect with friends (especially friends who parents so you can commiserate!).

Designated Space

When you are working, make sure that you’ve designated space away from the madness, space where it is your “workplace,” one that separate from your home space. Even if it is a set-up that, due to space constrains, you construct every work day, make sure that set-up is for only for your work and broken down at the end of the work day so you cannot return to it when it is family and self-time.

Let your kids and partner know that when you’re in this space, you’re not to be disturbed unless it’s an absolute emergency. Noise-cancelling headphones can help with that.

Exercise That You Can (and Must) Fit In

(Disclaimer: the following suggestions are no substitute for advice from your health care practitioner and are not meant to treat any disease. Check with your general practitioner or primary health care physician before you begin any lifestyle-related change in your diet or exercise.)

I get it. It seems like there’s no time for self-care. But you must. Must. Must. Self. Care.

Remember when flying was a thing? The flight attendant would tell you that, in the event of cabin pressure failure, to put your mask on before you put your child’s mask on.

That’s because, you’re the carer. If you don’t serve yourself first, you’re not going to be available for your children. Your body will fail you, and they are, at present, unable to care for you.

It’s the same now. Bodymind atrophy and breakdown doesn’t wait for you to “make time” for it. It happens, and then one day, your body cannot do it anymore.

A Little Goes A Long Way

As far as taking care of yourself, a little movement is better than no movement, and can go a long way to bringing your body and mind into a more peaceful, healthy place.

While in that space, set your timer every 20-30 minutes for you to stretch and move in some manner. Get up and wiggle. Breathe deeply. Give yourself a nice hug. I’ll be posting little quick videos to show you what you can do.

My YouTube Channel

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvZ5VW56Gu9RK9FrECq7fAQ

Family YouTube Exercise

Remember that part of schooling is exercise and free time. YouTube has a plethora of free exercises and games that have built up over the years, if you cannot get outside. Take the time that the kids are exercising to join them or do your own thing while they’re doing “free time.”

One of my favourites is Yoga with Adriene. She has about 6 years of thoughtful yoga instruction online. This is saving my body for work when I get back. I suggest it to you too.

Yoga with Adriene

https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene/videos

In the very early morning; during the day, at points when you feel like you’re about to lose it; and/or in the evening; or even in the middle of the night if you’re having trouble sleeping; put on some headphones and wind your mind and body down with some guided meditation.

There’s many; one is being built by my friend and yogi in Amsterdam, Emily Mulder. They’re quick 10-20-minute offerings to get you reset. Things won’t feel so panicky afterward, and you might be able to tap into your own answers (and she’s a home-schooling parent, so she gets it!).

Buddhi

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCfzlRb_fH0O5g2Tix4jHpg

I also found this little gem, if you or your children are into Martial Arts. It will teach the basic disciplines and give them (and you) a good guided workout until you can get back to the dojo. Check with your instructor that this is all right for you to do.

NOTE: For the experts out there: you know that everything you do is built on the basics. This is key for you to keep your skills sharp.

Global Martial Arts University

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2P_ez18uOCFlNpnZParZtw

This is a free guided, weekly offering that is offered by Philip Carr-Gomm, a druid from the Order of Bards, Ovates, and Druids. You don’t have to be a druid or shaman to benefit from these. They’re completely free, lovely, effortless, and healing.

The Garden of Retreat in Flowing Happiness

https://artoflivingwell.org.uk/p/homeretreat

Check Yourself

The following may be possible: even as you may be feeling that you’re a “failure,” because you’re being a bit hard on yourself; it is very easy to unconsciously transmit those feelings and expectations to those around you in the home and workplace.

It is just as easy to not see that your co-workers and family wants to support you but don’t know how. Chances are they may be feeling helpless and inadequate, too, because they have not received guidance on how to help you.

Check in with your workmates and directors, your partner and your kids and be real with them.

Keep it cool and non-accusatory; instead of saying, “I feel that you don’t do this or don’t appreciate what I do…” say, “I feel overwhelmed.” Listen to them and where they’re at and remind them to keep it non-accusatory as well.

Offer suggestions and let them offer suggestions. “Here’s where I need help. Here’s what you can do to help.” “What do you think?” “Is there a way you can help me?” Delegate chores and responsibilities when you can, and at their ability level, of course. Let them do the same.

Collectively find a way to lessen expectations for yourself and them and check in regularly to see how it is going. Keep if fluid, and ever-changing. We all need space to breathe until we figure out how to do this. You may all feel closer together (perhaps after a good family cry and hug, if you’re able to safely do so).

I hope this helps.

I love you. I believe in us.

Claire

Posture: The One Word that Can Change Your Behavior Instantly

July 20, 2017 by Claire Fitzpatrick

Posture.

You just sat up, didn’t you?

The word, itself, reminds people of the importance of good posture.

We all know that good posture is important. But why?

Here’s Why

Do you know that your posture can literally determine your mental health? Your emotional health?

How successful you can expect to become?

Here’s one thing I notice about living in Amsterdam, home of some of the tallest people in the world: A good majority of them stoop over.

A lot.

They do the same thing that New Yorkers do, regarding cell phones (known here as “mo-bile” phones). They walk down the street, bent over the tiny screens, typing as they walk…walking into traffic, bikes, me*…

[pullquote align=”normal”]*…by the way, that makes me crazy. I wish these people would just pull over to the side of a building and do their business. Why do these people walk down the street like a zombie, colliding with everything like its nothing?* [/pullquote]

…but I digress…

However, many Amsterdammers tend to slump over without the phones.

They slump over while talking to friends, while eating at a restaurant, sitting at their desks, when speaking in front of a room full of people…its as if they have an imaginary ceiling over their heads, and they have to perpetually duck as to not hit it!

Then I watch the older Amsterdammers, those in their 50s, and 60s, let alone their 70s and 80s, trying to walk down the streets.

Many of them shuffle, their upper backs now deformed after years of stooping, and the gravitational weight of their forward head carriage has worn down their low backs’ ability to stabilize the rest of their body, so their legs are weak from nerve system interference.

Many of them have walkers, or are even in wheel chairs.

Goodness knows about their ability to go to the bathroom, have sex, or even climb the stairs, let alone their ability to enjoy the sailboats in the canals or the beautiful parks on bicycles.

It’s really sad to see, because the Dutch are a very proud people. One can see, as they make their way slowly down the street shuffle by shuffle, that their lack of independence at a relatively young age is extremely humiliating to them.

It’s unnecessary

It’s so unfortunate, because it is so easy to fix.

One simply needs to adjust their spines and change their posture. And keep doing it.

Americans are not immune. We slump. A lot.

It affects everything we do.

It even affects our hormones. Forward head carriage and slumped shoulders are primal stances of fear and depression.

When we slump forward and rest our weight on our rib cage, we are telling our bodies that we are in danger and that we are helpless.

In contrast, sitting and standing straight, head held high, shoulders open, chest open and available, tells our bodies that we are not only all right, but that we are strong, happy, and victorious.

Amy Cuddy, researcher at Harvard University, and her team, tested this theory out in a series of famous studies; the results of which she presented in a famous TED talk in 2012.

She and her team found that testosterone and cortisol levels improved dramatically after just TWO MINUTES of what they called, “high-power positions,” vs. “low-power” positions.

That’s huge.

When we carry ourselves straight and tall, strong in our core, our brain and spinal cord are able to function with less interference and are able to clear waste products from our cerebral spinal fluid into our lymph nodes. This is crucial for brain and body health.

Posture affects

The following quote is attributed to The American Journal of Pain Management. I can’t confirm right now it that is true; if it is, it was written in or before 1991. However, the quote is said very concisely:

[pullquote align=”normal”]“Posture affects and moderates every physiological function, from breathing to nervous system function, and despite the considerable evidence that posture affects physiology and function, the significant influence of posture on health is not addressed by most physicians.” [/pullquote]

Can you imagine if it is true? That we’ve know this for at least 30 years?

You know that there is a lot of worry about the increasing incidences of Alzheimer’s disease these days. Did you know that recent research suggests that brisk, purposeful walking 30 minutes a day can reduce the risk of Alzheimer’s disease by 60%?

There’s not a drug out there that can come close to matching that.

How much more effective do you think these results would be if we employed open, strong, proper posture to our walking?

No shortage of help

There is no shortage of postural and fitness professionals who teach the importance core strength and postural alignment. Yoga teachers, Pilates teachers, all the martial arts, therapeutic exercise, strength training, Rolfers, Alexander Technique, Feldenkrais Technique…of course, the list goes on.

When we have been stuck in a rut of poor posture, chiropractic care is crucial to the success of any program of postural success.

How Chiropractic Helps Posture

When we hold our bodies in any position for a long period of time, the body creates fibrous connective tissue to hold us in that position because it thinks we want to stay in that position.

Even the bones will grow extra bone to try to stabilize the body in a position in which we repeatedly place ourselves. That’s called osteoarthritis.

If the spine starts to do that, the extra bone can grow into the spinal canal and the foramen where nerves pass. That’s when we can get severe nerve interference.

If you find it difficult, if not impossible, to achieve healthy posture, it is critical that you get chiropractic care.

Chiropractic care breaks up the adhesions in the spine and joints of the body. It allows free movement of the vertebrae, and thus minimizes interference to the nervous system at the junction of the brain/spinal cord and the peripheral nerves of the body.

It allows the success of using every other technique.

But you can start today. Right now.

Here’s how.

Standing

Get up against a wall, feet shoulder-width apart. Touch the back of your head and your rear end to the wall. Roll your shoulders back until your shoulder blades are flat against the wall. Drop your shoulders.

That weird feeling you’re feeling is proper posture.

At your desk

The top of your monitor should be level with your eyes. Your legs, arms and hands should all be at a 90-degree angle with the rest of your body. Your keyboard should be close. Make your spine straight by lifting yourself up from your pelvis and tummy. Breathe into your tummy, not your shoulders.

And get up and shake it out every 15 minutes.

Walking down the street

Put the phone away, or use headphones to talk, straighten up and walk forward.

Using your phone

Bring the phone to eye level – not your head to phone level. Yes, it’s uncomfortable. So what? Are you afraid of a little upper body strength

When talking with short people (like me)

Stand tall, look down at me with your eyeballs. As long as your manner is jolly and not snobby, I won’t take offence. Make me straighten up to talk to you. It’s good for me, too.

It will make us both jolly. Literally, it will make us happier, healthier people.

For Two Minutes

If you can do any of the above and hold if for just TWO MINUTES, you can improve your health by a magnitude!

Imagine if you hold it for longer? Hours? Days? Months? Years?

How happy and healthy can you make yourself if you do just this? Absolutely free?

C’mon. Straighten up. It’s worth it.