How do you spot if you’re talking yourself out of a good thing?

I’m not talking about an impulse buy. I’m talking about that noun — that person/place/thing/idea  — that you’ve been thinking about for weeks.  Months.  Years.

1. Are you taking too long to think about it?

Whether it’s an idea, a pair of jeans, an opinion, or a bag of (fair trade, organic) nuts; are you deliberating longer than you should?

You know you want it. You even know you need it. You want to say it. It needs doing.

But you just sit there with it in your hand and your heart, looking at it. Deliberating over it.

2. Are you worried that someone else won’t like it?

Is there a familiar sickly tug inside that is trying to remind you that you have to check with your wife/husband/daughter/boss/friend/cat before you make a move on that thing in your hand and heart?

3. Are you feeling voices?

You read me right. Not hearing…feeling.

Is there a feeling of a voice inside, that sickly tug, that is saying:

• It’s not going to work.
• It’s a waste of time and money.
• That’s not your place.
• You don’t deserve such a fine thing.
• You haven’t worked hard enough for that.
• That would be selfish.
• No one wants to hear that.

4. Is your attention starting to drift?

The thing is in your hand and heart; and you start remembering that you haven’t done the whites yet. You have to pick up your daughter in 45 minutes. You have to call your brother back. You wonder if that check has cleared in the bank yet.  You need to check your Facebook or Instagram to see if anyone liked your last post.

5. Is there a pain in your body?

Wherever there is a “weak link;” is it starting to flare up?  Is your “bad” knee starting to hurt? Your back? Are you getting a headache? Do you feel nauseous? Are you getting gassy?  Is your elbow aching?

6. Are you still staring at it?

Is your hand starting to vacillate between holding it to your heart and putting it back on the shelf?

7. Are you repeating all of the above over and over while you stare at your good thing?

 

Then yes. You are talking yourself out of a good thing.

Here’s what to do.

1. Stop thinking.

You’ve done enough thinking about it. You know you want it, and you know how to get it.

2. Commit to it.

Shut down the nagging advisors.  They are not in charge. You are. This is something you’ve wanted/needed to do for a long time.

3. Run to the checkout./Open your mouth.

Let the people in the really real world, the ones OUTSIDE your head, know that you are committing to your plan/idea/opinion/thing.

4. Own it.

Whatever it is, make it yours.  Open it. Craft it. Shape it. Eat it. Use it. Do it.

If it doesn’t fit, if it doesn’t work, if it wasn’t what you thought it would be:

Fix it. Make it better.

Or gently release it.

It doesn’t matter.

This is what matters:

You made a decision.  You owned it.  You acted on it.

That’s what really matters in the end.